April 29, 2016

We got THE CALL!

I still can't believe it happened.   Last week I got the call from our agency that we were matched.  I was in shock because it is April and I knew there were no matching meetings happening. I kept saying this can't be real, it's April!  But they assured me it was.  I literally was shaking!

Turns out those rainbows I saw on the day of the last matching meeting in March really were a sign after all!!!   I remember how strongly I felt that that was our meeting.   Well, it turns out our little boy was matched to another family at that meeting.  The details and pictures never did make it to them because when the agency called them to let them know they were matched they had to decline due to some personal circumstances.  I don't know anything more but our agency then told Lesotho that the family was no longer able to move forward and then they went back to the table and chose us!

"I am choosing to believe that the rainbow I saw that night was meant to encourage me to keep waiting a little bit longer."  

Our little boy will be named Solomon.  He is only 8 months old right now!  We hope to travel and bring him home in 4-6 months.

The kids are thrilled and can't wait to welcome him into the family.

I'll post more later and perhaps his photo once I know we have passed court and he is officially "ours".

March 13, 2016

rainbows and hope

On Thursday we had one of the craziest days of weather we have had in a long time.  The entire day was on and off hail and rain and wind up to 80 kilometres an hour.  The storm had finally passed and it was time for me to drive my son to gymnastics in the town next to us.  As I drove there I realized I was driving back into the storm.  I dropped him off with more hail and thunder and went about my errands in town.  When I went to pick him up the sun was starting to shine and one of the most beautiful rainbows was in the sky.  It was amazing.  A complete full rainbow.... as I pulled back up to his gymnastics I realized that there was now a double rainbow.  I stopped the car and decided to take a picture so I could show him when he got out.  I felt such a sense of peace when I saw this rainbow, as if it was God saying to me that my kids really are coming.  When I saw the double rainbow I immediately thought "it's the twins!"  For so long now I have dreamed of these twins that I have seen at Beautiful Gate.  Anyways, it is fun to believe in signs so I decided to enjoy it for what it is worth.   After I took the photo I checked my messages and saw that someone else whose dossier is in country had talked to our agency that day and heard there was a surprise matching meeting last week and they had just received the results.  An email was to be coming out shortly after the lucky families were called.

That's when I started to really freak out.  Like THIS IS IT freaking out.  I even called my husband and told him to get ready because I really believed we could be getting the call the next day about a referral.

Part of me worried the phone call would have already happened that day and that maybe they stay at work late for this sort of thing or call people at home in the evenings so therefore it wasn't us.  There was no message on my home phone when I got home that night.  But I decided it was still possible so I went to bed with hope.  Lots and lots of hope.

The next morning I was getting the kids ready for school and made sure my cell was turned on.  As we were getting our backpacks and literally just about out the door my cell rang.  My entire body literally shook.  My heart was pounding.  No one ever calls my cell at 8 in the morning.

And it was just an electrical wholesaler for work.   Ahhh!!!  So frustrating.  I tried to calm down.  When I came home I literally started nesting almost immediately.  Cleaning, organizing, and checking emails.  Okay, who am I kidding.  I was mostly checking my emails.  By lunch my hope was fading.  I knew it wasn't us.  They would've called right away in the morning.  Disappointment again.

I sware the process for Ethiopia was much easier!  Knowing when matching meetings occur and the fact that matches are made so subjectively makes this so difficult.

Anyways, as you can already tell we received an email that afternoon from our agency saying sorry but we were not matched.  There was one match for Canada, two for Sweden and one for the US.  Overall this is actually pretty good news.  Four matches is better than it has been in the last year.  Our agency also informed us that Lesotho has now agreed to have one social worker focus completely on trying to gather and complete paperwork for children that are adoptable.  This is great news.

Image result for quote on rainbowsI'm trying to cling to hope.  I'm trying to cling to the double rainbows that I saw and the fact that they spoke to me about our adoption even before I knew that there had literally just been a meeting.  Maybe that in itself should comfort me now.  Part of me laughs at how I look for signs in everything. Like this is something that I should've given up in high school.

But another part of me feels like it is actually a wonderful way to live.  Rainbows have always been seen as a symbol of God's promise to us that he will never forsake us.  I believe this is true.  I am choosing to believe that the rainbow I saw that night was meant to encourage me to keep waiting a little bit longer.

February 9, 2016

The wait continues

Well we are still here waiting.  Lately all I can think of is adoption.  I went from doing quite well with the wait the first year, to not so well.  It'll be two years this May that our dossier will have been in Lesotho.  I'm honestly getting worried about the program.  I think that if more matches were happening even if they weren't for us, I would feel better.  But the fact that so few are being matched (two last year) makes me think that it will never happen and that Lesotho will shut down.

Someone I know just returned from Lesotho.  They brought their kids back to see the country where they were born.  She told me not to give up because there were SO many kids that they saw in orphanages.  Currently Beautiful Gate is maxed out at 72.  But sadly I doubt many of these kids are deemed "adoptable" by the government.  And the one's that are..... I am losing hope that anyone will do the work it takes to get the paperwork.  The only reason our agency is giving us for the longer wait is missing paperwork.  It's not that there aren't kids who need homes.

As you might notice I'm sounding rather negative about it all.  Just being honest.

I feel like I need to know soon if Lesotho is going to work out or not.   The next matching meeting is supposed to be in March but I haven't heard a confirmed date yet.

I know I have readers from Sweden and the Netherlands.... I would love to hear from you if you have anything to add to this.  What are your agencies telling you?

December 17, 2015

Our Christmas Tree

We weren't matched.  Once again disappointment.   Advent is the season of waiting and so we continue to wait.  Only one family was matched from Canada this time and one from Lesotho.   Things are continuing to move just as slow as ever.

I must admit that I have had something distracting me lately from obsessing over when this adoption will ever take place.  We are also awaiting news from a searcher we have hired in Addis Ababa to find our son's birth mom.  I can not promise you that if and when we hear news or find her that I will be able to share everything here because that is not my story to tell.  But I will be able to tell you if we can find her and make contact.  So far the search has been much more complicated than any of us could ever of imagined.  All I can think about lately is where is she?  How is she?  Does she know that Moses is loved and doing well?

The other week we went and cut down our Christmas tree.  When we brought it home my husband noticed this one branch that seemed more like a new tree growing off of the main one.  He called it a nurse tree.  I don't think this is an actual nurse tree as per the actual definition but as soon as he said it I thought to myself this branch symbolizes how Moses' birth mom is a part of our family.  She is here in everything.  In our son's smile, in our hearts, in our Christmas.  We would not be this family without her.  I continued decorating the tree with the kids and found our one special ornament I had bought from Ethiopia.  It is made of wood and quite heavy and so I began to look for a strong branch and quickly remembered "the nurse tree".  It was the perfect spot.  Everytime I look at it my heart thinks of her.

December 2, 2015


Wow, I had no idea it had been THIS long since I last updated here.  As you might of guessed, we are still waiting.  The last meeting was a few months ago and we were not matched.  Adoptions in Lesotho have really slowed down.  In fact, our agency in Canada has only had 2 completed Lesotho adoptions in 2015.  We really hope things pick up in 2016 and more children can come into families.  The reason for the slowdown is apparently issues in collecting paperwork.  Children are really not adoptable without paperwork so it is so important for the social workers to be diligent.  Our agency can only do so much.  And of course many of us waiting families wonder if perhaps Lesotho just does not want to process more than a few adoptions each year.

Either way, we are still in it for the long haul.  Every time I see my 7 year old son interact with a toddler my heart is full.  I love seeing the nurturing side of my kids come out.  A side I rarely see in the way they interact with each other!  So it is nice to see when they are with their younger cousins.  I can't wait to see them welcome a new sibling(s) into our family.

Next meeting is in two days.  I promise to update sooner this time!